Vijitha Sebastian Adappoor

A post sent by my friend lingered in my thoughts for a long time – a painter who was asked to paint a boat found and repaired the leak in it even without being told to do so. The owner of the boat thanked him profusely when he realized that his young sons were saved from being drowned due to the selfless service and thoughtfulness of the painter.

In life too we come across many such situations. Sometimes the leaks are in the way we speak to others, probably the harsh sounding words affect the person who is addressed. The young ones tend to imitate the grownups and it has become passé when we hear expletives being used in common parlance. Very often my students find it funny when I dissuade them from using such words. Teenagers do not realize that one day as adults holding responsible positions this habitual loose talk will find its way into serious conversations and they would become the butt of ridicule.

It might also be in the tone in which we speak and we realize it only when others correct us. Once a colleague of mine stood up to counter the allegations levelled against her during an informal meeting. Later the seniors mentioned about the impoliteness clouding her tone while speaking. As her friends, we felt duty-bound to caution her to be careful and she was aghast saying never even once did she let her tone border anywhere near impropriety. Though I had students, much younger in age, voicing such antithetical statements, it was only when I heard my colleague’s opinion, the stark reality seeped into my psyche that each individual behaves, talks, and acts with a strong conviction that they are always right.

It is said that actions speak louder than words. Many times decisions taken as a group becomes binding on all concerned. Though concerned about the legitimacy of the stance taken by the higher ups, others avoided a dissent as it could create a rift in the newly formed group. It happened when a family wound up their stint in our part of the world and was moving to pitch their tent in a foreign land. As per the norm a farewell was planned but it fizzled out due to valid reasons stated by those holding important positions. There was no hue and cry raised by the family members or other well-wishers yet it was quite obvious that there was something amiss as we waved out to them to bid farewell.

All the instances stated above are just normal ones that we encounter in our daily routine. No great specialization or order is needed to plug these leaks but the world is facing an acute shortage of brave hearts who feel deep down that the crumpled curves in human nature needs to be ironed out and straightened. Every choice in each moment matters because the right choices help us to enjoy its possibilities and pleasures long after the moment has passed. The choices we make are picked up by the young ones and the consequences that follow will echo through our life time and theirs. If we find ourselves in a situation, when a small nudge on our part can create a workable approach then as Christians and good human beings we must summon the strength to make that nudge.

Our Lord has blessed us with immeasurable skills and talents even beyond our knowledge. We can fully use them only through our interactions with others and involving ourselves in the various situations through their thought-provoking suggestions. These days we see young ones question everyone and everything, especially the beliefs and cultural practices. Our values, principles of personal morality that is seen in our behaviour patterns and lifestyles will surely be accepted by the young as a positive influence.

I liked what JRD Tata once said,“The secret of my success is my ability to arouse enthusiasm in others. The way to develop the best in a man is through appreciation and encouragement.” Sometimes a few people enter our lives to open the doors leading to innumerable opportunities we never realized had existed. A purpose springs deep within us and as we follow the lead, we are filled with an expectation that our actions will be appreciated by those who matter to us. If disappointment sets in, it would be best to simply allow life not to be perfect. Much pain can be avoided if we dismiss our thoughts by not dwelling upon it or magnifying it. Some blunders and absurdities do creep in each day but that should not in any way diminish the sparkle in our vision.

Our success in life is determined by our social skills. If we think we can change a situation that brings unhappiness and dissatisfaction, then we must plug the leaks and enthusiastically promote joy. Our loyalty to our fellow human beings, whoever they might be, can be through making ourselves useful and available to them by selfless thoughts and actions. The quote of William Shakespeare is very apt, “The fragrance of the Rose lingers in the hands that cast it.” As we love and accept others unconditionally the reward we achieve is a happy and healthy life.