Vijitha Sebastian Adappoor

‘Just keep your heart beautiful and the rest will fall into place’ they say. Be an angel to another person- is a maxim that we can teach our children. I did so just as a part of the few lessons that we share with our children as they grew up. One day, my stress levels shot up when I couldn’t connect with my daughter’s phone. Though its normal for children to move to other places to complete their studies, the crazy beeps of our heart craving for their safety, cannot be quelled in one go. Panic calls were made to a thousand places and finally she calmed me down saying that her friend met with an accident and she had to be taken home after the first aid procedures. The last thing she hammered through my soul was, “What if it was your own daughter.” Well… with that the cortisol and adrenaline levels subsided and the body and mind turned normal.During my younger days, I was very fond of the line “All women are strong ‘coz strong women raised us.” My daughter’s approach taught me that I am dealing with one such woman.

It is said that when we remain in a frequency of gratitude, we will also receive signals of it. A clear link has been found between emotions and functioning of our body’s system lately. Positive emotions give a boost to the system and negative ones have the reverse effect. We always teach our children to be good to others and that happiness will flow back to them. We all know that happiness is a choice, not an outcome and it can be derived only by having a good value system along with gratitude, forgiveness and love.

It was a beautiful feeling to read in an article that nerve cells that which together, wire together. The more we repeat a pattern, the stronger the pattern gets and we benefit more from it. This clearly shows why we find some people being mean to others always. Some others are always helpful and behave in a healthier manner because of the pattern set within them.

Most people’s problem stem from the regret about past actions or anticipation about future issues. My maternal aunt was once listening to a priest, talking about how children bring their pens, admission cards and other exam paraphernalia to be blessed just before their university/board exams. But never did anyone come up to him to be blessed for such things before a catechism exam. The memory lobes of my aunt reminisced an anecdote. She scored well in her catechism exam and was sent to compete at the next level along with another competitor. It so happened that the other girl backed out saying that the exams were round the corner and my aunt went ahead alone. When the results of the academic exams were declared, it was the other girl who scored better than her. As is the case with all of us the remorse saw only one reason- if only I too had backed out of the catechism exams- I could have also…

Well… both moved on in life, she did her B.Ed and pretty soon settled down in life. My aunt took her masters and trained herself to take up the profession that most of us in the family were naturally aligned to teaching. Many years later, the two bumped into each other on a journey. If only I could reset the clock, I am sure I could witness the beaming smile sported by my aunt as she alighted from the train. The two women with oodles of grey as crowning glory, transporting themselves to the time of skirts and ribbons, as they meandered through memory lanes they basked in each other’s success stories, their children, retirement et al. The final thought is that though remorse overtook her for not giving up the catechism exam then, today she believes that it acted as a catapult and helped her reach higher echelons of life.

Happiness is looking at what you have, rather than looking at what you don’t. When our thoughts about another person are positive, it helps us to remain calm and our mind will not entertain any kind of signals that will make us anxious and lead to negativity. When hatred and resentment vanish, we learn to easily accept other people and situations.

A plethora of incidents are strewn across our own pathways in life. As Christians, we believe Jesus leads us on. So it is an absolute necessity to be charitable, generous, less defensive about mistakes and more accessible to change. Don’t these qualities make us worthy of the graces that are showered upon us?

Great moments happen as a result of constant investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, mutual respect and commitment toward all those with whom we lead this beautiful life. It could be a person as in the case of the situation cited above. To be angels to others, all we have to do is to show a genuine concern for others. Taking time out of our day to help someone is a great act. Even a small gesture will spread the love of God. Friends, family and even strangers lift us up. So when chance permits, let’s do our bit.