“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples” – Mother Teresa.
The starfish story is an endearing account of a child, walking along an empty, desolate beach with his parents, the day after a terrible storm and the beach was littered with thousands of washed up starfish. When the child picked up a stranded and dying starfish and threw it back into the ocean, the father admonished his son saying that there were thousands of similarly stranded starfish on the beach after the previous day’s storm and he couldn’t possibly make any difference to their plight by picking up just a few and returning them back to their natural milieu of the life enriching ocean. The child then picked up the next starfish and throwing it back into the ocean replied: “I made a difference to that one”.
This little story comes from the treatise, “The Star Thrower” which is from a 16-page essay by Loren Eiseley, published in 1969 and has been adapted and retold a million times by thousands of motivational speakers and grandmas and grandpas telling bedtime stories to grandchildren over the years without any attribution to Loren Eiseley.
Just because an act is small and seemingly insignificant, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worthwhile or has any value in its own right. The problems that the world faces currently may be huge and insurmountable, but if individuals concentrate on realistic outcomes, small acts of kindness and singular philanthropy can make all the difference to someone. Not being able to fix everything doesn’t mean that there isn’t great value in helping to change what little we can. The stoic philosopher Epictetus (50 -135 CE) wrote “Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us (eph’ hemin – meaning ‘in our power’) and some things are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us and so are our impulses, desires and aversions …. In short whatever is caused by our doing. (However) our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations, public offices we hold or whatever else is not our own doing”. The 11th Century Jewish philosopher, Solomon Ibin Gabriol wrote in similar vein: “At the head of all understanding is, distinguishing between what is and what cannot be. And the consoling of what is not in our power to change”. And from these thought provoking ideas, in early 20th Century, Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 step programmes for addictive disorders, developed the Serenity prayer of “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”. All this ultimately unmistakably point to the fact that by boldly acting on changing whatever one can change does indeed make a difference.
The idea of making much needed changes also applies to the changes we can make in ourselves and in our lives. Continuing to make small differences often add up and can inspire those around us to also believe in their capacity to make a difference. It only takes a few minutes of watching and reading about current affairs to realise that the world has Big Problems right now and when we end up becoming disheartened, feeling powerless and ask ourselves what on earth we can do about any of it, all we need to do is to decide which starfish to pick up today. Each of us can make a difference and in gentle ways, that can still shake the world. To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, wealthy, beautiful or perfect. You only need to care enough.
There is little doubt that small groups of thoughtful, committed citizens can make a difference and indeed, it is the only thing that has ever made a difference in the world, even when grand statements and policy proclamations are shouted from the rooftops. The truth is that even when you may be just one person in the world, you can be the world to someone and the one to make the difference. Everyday most of us are given small opportunities to bring joy to someone’s life and that is also the surest way forward through meaningful effort to lift our own lives to the next level. Life is also about taking risks and making bold decisions, even when most of us individually are not easy to deal with or easy to please. We will all have our own ways of doing things and that is what makes who we are. Life is not about being the perfect person and it is not about living a fairy tale life. It is easier make a buck than it is to make a difference.
Dr George John
Mangalam House, End of Association Road
Kadavanthra, Kochi 682 020, India
