As India is witnessing an upsurge of sexual abuses, we tend to think that we need to protect girls. Continuous advice is given to parents: “Protect your daughters.” In fact, this advice is not debated. But a spontaneous question arises: “Is it enough to protect our daughters?” At this introspective stage, I received a thought-provoking WhatsApp picture with a caption: “Educate your sons.”

It is a curriculum-based process of teaching and learning about the cognitive, emotional, physical and social aspects of sexuality. It aims to equip children and young people with knowledge, skills, attitudes and values that empowers them to realize their health, well-being and dignity; develop respectful social and sexual relationships; consider how their choices affect their own well-being and that of others; and understand and ensure the protection of their rights throughout their lives.

CSE presents sexuality with a positive approach, emphasizing values such as respect, inclusion, non-discrimination, equality, empathy, responsibility and reciprocity. It reinforces healthy and positive values about bodies, puberty, relationships, sex and family life.

UNESCO believes that with CSE, young people learn to treat each other with respect and dignity from an early age and gain skills for better decision making, communications, and critical analysis. They learn they can talk to an adult they trust when they are confused about their bodies, relationships and values.

They learn to think about what is right and safe for them and how to avoid coercion, sexually transmitted infections including HIV, and early and unintended pregnancy, and where to go for help. They learn to identify what violence against children and women looks like, including sexual violence, and to understand injustice based on gender. They learn to uphold universal values of equality, love and kindness.

Tips for parents: Use appropriate language: Teach children proper names for all body parts, including their genitals. Using other names for body parts may give the impression that they are bad and cannot be talked about.

• Do not force affection: Do not force your children to give hugs or kisses. It is OK for them to tell even grandma or grandpa that they do not want to give them a kiss or a hug goodbye. Teach your child alternate ways to show affection and respect without close physical touch.
• Reinforce that people should respect each other: Discuss about “good touch and bad touch”. Tell them how it is never OK for anyone to look at or touch their private parts without their permission. At the same time, they should not look at or touch other people’s bodies without their permission.
• Regular Review: Some good times to talk to your children about personal safety are during bath time, bedtime, doctor visits and before any new situation. Giving them tools to recognize and respond to uncomfortable situations is very important.
• Expect questions: You must be open to questions your child asks and the answers that are appropriate to give will depend on your child’s age and ability to understand. It is always important to tell the truth.

Parents can lay the foundation in the family for self-control, proper understanding of sexuality, and healthy emotional development by providing a secure environment in which healthy attitudes will grow. Love, kindness, good communication, and appropriate expressions of affection are vital.

Within the context of a warm and loving relationship, we will have our greatest influence as we teach our children to have a proper attitude about sexuality, warn them against unhealthy and immoral practices, and instil in them the desire to remain chaste and virtuous. Responsible societies minimize negative influences that affect young children. It is our responsibility to save our youth, especially the boys, and safeguard them from moving towards disaster.

• M L Satyan, Matters India