Dr. Agnes Thomas

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing” (Einstein)

Our families play a pivotal role in how we develop and appreciate the gift of wonder. Recently, a young mom from the community shared how sometimes she gets uncomfortable around her children’s questions. The father chimed in and mentioned they were unsure what to answer at times. Thus, they came up with a strategy. Whenever the children asked a ‘difficult’ or an ‘inappropriate’ question, they tried to distract them by changing the topic or making up a story. If both did not work, they ignored the question and moved on as if they did not hear it. The parents discussed this with me because their firstborn, almost 11 years old, did not ask them questions or engage them in activities or topics he was interested in because he thought the family would disagree. It created tension and division within the family, but the child became completely closed off in how he behaved with the adults around him.

Further, He was influencing his younger siblings with his version of what was right and wrong. While they appreciated his engagement with his siblings, they were worried his version of right and wrong on many subjects was worse than the stories they created to avoid their questions. Since he stopped asking questions, the opportunity to correct some of the misinformation he was getting was also limited. As adults, how are we responding to the curious inquiries of children and youth in our midst? Do our families create a safe space for dialogue where children are not worried about asking a question or sharing their doubts? Why is this important, and how does it contribute to community building?

When I look back at people whom I have respected as teachers and adults who influenced me in my younger days, I realize I have a deeper appreciation for people like my father, who didn’t stop me when I asked questions or questioned some things. Now, as an adult with children of my own, I will say one of the great gifts adults can share with children is to encourage and nourish their curiosity and sense of wonder. Children are naturally curious and have questions about life, God, people, and everything that fascinates their attention. As adults, when we don’t take the time to listen and find meaningful and truthful responses to those questions. Instead, they find answers from places and people we may not want them to receive. This is especially true for children who seek answers about their religion, sexuality, and other difficult questions adults often do not find comfortable talking to a child about. Avoidance is not an answer but addressing or redirecting them to the proper sources can be enabling and encouraging.

First and foremost, allowing spaces for questions and wonder creates the foundation for learning and openness. My experience and observation of youth and young adults reveal that child who is encouraged to ask questions without the fear of reprimand often grow to become adults who are open and curious about life and others. When children are allowed to ask questions and be free to explore various answers to their questions, they do not become indoctrinated by a particular set of views or do not close the door to a different perspective than theirs. Curious children make curious adults who are not satisfied just with a hegemonic view but explore the alternative. In this time and place, such attitudes and values can help end wars and conflict and enhance the gift of diversity in all aspects of our thinking and action.

In light of the ongoing community conversations regarding our biases and attitudes about faith, religion, class, gender, race, sexuality, etc., it is critical to encourage the spirit of inquiry and wonder. This can lead to learning and change in persons and groups and, in turn, change communities and states. Curiosity and wonder create an atmosphere of open dialogue that is free of judgment. The extremes of perspective and attitude are replaced with a commitment to learning from others and their experiences. It seeks to understand, not separate and isolate. Like many other values in life, this too begins at home. Childlike curiosity can save the world from its oppressions and biases, and let’s embrace it.