Dr. Agnes Thomas

Is it better to be religious or religiously spiritual? This was one of the questions a youth I knew once asked in our group. To him, from a religious perspective, everything in his church made perfect sense; rituals and traditions ruled every decision. However, he felt there was not enough faith in action, love without judgment, and acceptance without perfection. People who didn’t fit a specific norm at the church were treated poorly and not favorably, which bothered him. In reflection, he raised a fair question: What is the purpose of the church if everything it did and attempted to do didn’t come from a place of love? He was not one of those kids rebelling but honestly seeking to understand as he was deeply committed to the church.

Before I share my response with you, I would like to examine the two key terms in the context. We both agreed that, in the literal sense, religiosity meant a strong religious feeling or belief system that one follows without doubting it. Spirituality, on the other hand, may look the same, but not entirely, as it involves more than a feeling; it is a connection to or seeking to connect with the ‘divine’ that is within us and around us; mostly an inward journey, seeking, making connections, discovering, and evolving.

Religion offers a framework, a name, a place, and a system with pointers to follow, which makes the journey relatively structured. It can help foster belonging, create a sense of community, and fellow believers can give you a sense of safety in affirming what we see and believe as truth. It calls for discipline and focus; you can follow with or without being committed to an inner journey. While being religious and not committing to an inner journey sometimes leads us to be narrow-minded and ritualistic in devotion, without meaning and reflection, judgemental to others who didn’t fit the frame, exclusive to those who didn’t follow the system, isolating the ones who didn’t identify themselves with the ‘name.’ This is where we found the unique characteristics of spirituality, a gift and helpful path to understanding religion and religiosity.

We both agreed that the gift of spirituality is its depth and dedication to the inner life of the soul and divine. The spiritual one is always seeking, reflecting, asking questions, and searching for meaning and purpose. This ongoing search makes them transparent and leaves them with no time for judgment. They lead a life with a sense of wonder about humanity and unique ways of creation. They seem to have a deeper appreciation, reverence, and love for the creation. Everything is rooted in humility in acknowledging the lack of understanding of the depth of creation and the creator. They carry compassionate love, knowing and accepting the perfection of imperfection and the inadequacies of life journeys.

At the end of our long conversation, we agreed on the role religiosity played for the individual. We also saw the need for a timely examination of its intent and purpose to help focus on the primary goal. That is living the truth of our calling and that it was indeed positively building humanity.

For religiosity to be most meaningful and transformative, it requires spirituality to be the primary and central ingredient. Without a quest for a deeper connection with the divine and seeking the higher purpose of our being, religiosity remains just a frame without a picture; it becomes a self-serving routine devoid of spirit.

The simple answer to his question was it is better to be religiously spiritual, to love fiercely, without fear and judgment, to love again, and to pick up when we fall and serve with compassion and justice. The desire to become religiously spiritual allows us to love as St. Paul suggests and be a true reflection of the divine within us. I ponder his questions and that conversation quite often, especially when I feel tempted to judge and alienate people who have a different perspective than mine.

Paul sums it up nicely in Cori 13: 4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”