Dr. Agnes Thomas

A recurring and often-debated topic among both the young and the elderly in religious and non-religious discourse centers on the views of sadness and joy, and/or scarcity and abundance. These discussions frequently reveal a common theme – an inclination to associate suffering and pain with punishment for past transgressions, the sins of our ancestors, or even as a curse upon our families. This prevailing perspective can lead many to view God as a stern figure to be feared. Thus, casting a shadow of doubt over the image of the forgiving father depicted in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-24).

Engaging with the curious minds of young individuals often leads to some poignant questions. They ponder, “If God is loving and merciful, why do tragedies befall my family, friends, or siblings?” Others question the existence of violence, war, and calamity, wondering if these are the handiwork of a benevolent deity. In such moments, a fundamental question emerges: Is suffering a creation of God or a consequence of humanity’s insatiable pursuit of power, privilege, and unbridled greed? Are the poverty, war, and natural disasters that plague our world the result of humans straying too far from love and the common good? Are we fostering a generation that is driven by self-interest and devoid of empathy? What are the consequences of neglecting to offer nurturing guidance, and to show care to people/children in our charge?

Here, I delve into one facet of suffering—human-induced suffering. However, we also suffer daily, from various sources such as death, illness, and loss. These experiences collectively form the intricate tapestry of our existence, blending sadness with joy in varying degrees. Anyone who attempts to evade pain and suffering unknowingly weaves an illusory protective blanket around life that dilutes its inherent meaning and purpose. By rejecting pain and suffering rather than embracing it, we inadvertently ensnare ourselves in a cycle of avoidance, perpetuating enduring issues for ourselves and those around us.

The journey toward comprehending, accepting, and finding meaning in life’s delicate balance of pain and pleasure often commences in our formative years within the sanctity of our homes and immediate surroundings. It demands candid, untarnished conversations, free from avoidance. Adults, parents, and elders must be willing to traverse life’s intricate ebbs and flows with children, unveiling that life, much like the natural cycle of birth and death, encompasses scarcity and abundance, pain and pleasure, sadness and joy. Our responses to these inescapable facets of existence are matters of personal choice, independent of divine retribution or the transgressions of our forebears. While we can mitigate their impact through informed decisions, life only truly attains depth and purpose when we acknowledge its inherent duality.

A brief glimpse into the lives of saints and change-makers who have left indelible marks on the world reveals portraits of bravery and fortitude. Their journeys were not devoid of pain and suffering; indeed, they were interwoven with threads of joy, love, and an unwavering commitment to the path of enlightenment.

As parents, family members, teachers, and community builders, one of our paramount responsibilities should revolve around creating safe spaces for individuals, particularly children, to openly discuss pain, suffering, and the precious gift of life. This endeavour aims to liberate us from the superstitious cycle of judgment, fear, and avoidance of pain by ushering in a gentle acceptance of life’s intricate truths. It endows us with the courage to confront our challenges and the willingness to seek assistance when necessary. Suffering should not be a source of shame; rather, it serves as a wellspring of invaluable lessons and an invitation to delve deeper into the enigmatic mysteries of life.

Are we open to sharing our fears and strategies for navigating pain? Do we encourage seeking help when needed? How do we diligently ensure that conversations about pain and suffering occur alongside discussions of joy and abundance, nurturing a profound sense of gratitude for our lives? In our approach to life’s inevitable trials and tribulations, can we follow in the footsteps of the saints who have walked this path before us, and emerge with grace and enlightenment? These are the questions that beckon us to embark on a journey of deeper introspection and compassionate dialogue, ensuring that the next generation is equipped with the wisdom to navigate the intricate tapestry of life.