Dr. Agnes Thomas

For a while, I have been thinking about the growing social illnesses afflicting our youth in Kerala, ranging from drug addiction to pornography, and my thoughts wander to the root causes and potential solutions. Having grown up in and benefited greatly from Kerala’s familial and communal settings, I wonder whether changes in the social fabric or the decreasing presence of caring elders and adults who once watched over the younger ones contribute to this problem. However, a recent conversation with a friend sparked a thought about a potentially impactful solution. The crux of our conversation was about the increasing need for safe spaces and whose responsibility and role it is to create them. The question that led to this reflection was: is this ‘safe space’ a material/physical creation or a person/people-centred presence? I lean towards the latter. Thus, this short reflection focuses on a gift within us that can have a lifelong impact on the people around us. Being present is a simple but potentially profound solution that can be impactful, timely, and soul-filling for both the giver and the receiver.
While a physical space can provide a sense of safety, the type of presence within that space truly matters. This makes me think about the value of presence in shaping our personal experiences and influencing our interactions with others and our choices. Presence is often discussed casually, but its meaning and impact on our lives are rarely deeply considered. In its literal sense, presence refers to being aware of someone or something in a place, whether they are visible or not. Silence is an example of presence, which can have positive and negative implications. It can be a powerful tool for introspection, reflection, and mindfulness, fostering a sense of peace and serenity. However, silence can also be utilized as a means of oppression, control, and punishment. When imposed on others, silence can be a form of manipulation, stifling communication and suppressing dissenting voices.
As I reflect further on presence, I postulate that when presence is positive, it becomes a gift–a quality called the “gift of presence.” This gift enables individuals to create inclusive, compassionate, and often safe spaces. Within the home, a positive presence in personal interactions among parents, adults, and caregivers plays a crucial role in shaping the well-being of children and dependents around them. It fosters trust, facilitates healing, and offers and receives forgiveness. A consistent and dependable presence can also provide security and safety for those seeking refuge at home, community, or country. This way of being is interconnected and contributes to spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and physical well-being.
For presence to be a gift, it must be modelled and practiced at home and take root and grow within the community. When children experience a positive and influential presence from parents or adults without overbearing negativity, they learn to embody a positive presence among their peers and the community. Drawing from this experience from home and community, as tomorrow’s adults, they carry forward a powerful presence characterized by confidence, humility, gentleness, and safety.
Throughout history, we can find examples of gentle yet powerful presences that continue to influence our lives. The life of Jesus and the family of Nazareth exemplify the gift of presence from which we can all benefit and draw inspiration. Centuries later, leaders like Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King Jr. demonstrated how the very gift of presence can be transformative and compassionately radical. When leaders in organizations and workplaces understand the impact of their presence on their teams, they create pragmatic environments that foster growth and well-being, where individuals feel included, heard, and understood.
When the gift of presence permeates our communities and neighbourhoods, peace, calmness, and respectful dialogue prevail. Differences are celebrated rather than merely tolerated or discriminated against.
Let us embrace the transformative power of presence and become beacons of light in a world yearning for authenticity and connection. By embodying the gift of presence, we can contribute to the well-being of our homes, and communities and inspire positive change in the lives of those around us.