• Sanjose A Thomas

We dream about the making of a peaceful society and many often imagine about a world with no arms, no warfare, no mutual antagonism and where people live in harmony and peaceful co-existence. Gandhiji used to designate his welfare state to ‘Ramrajya’ which is nothing but a country where everyone is concerned about the welfare of their fellow human beings and where we place national interest above vested personal and self – seeking interests. Jesus Christ speaks about the ‘Kingdom of God’ where all children of Almighty will live harmoniously seeking mutual welfare and well – being. But in the contemporary era we see and hear about controversies and even smell controversies in everything and increasingly become more interested in controversies in anything and everything. Family is designated as the abode of God where compassion superordinate everything but nowadays relationships are becoming more and more complicated and families are becoming compartmentalised into concentration camps. When people complain about ‘family problems’, we may give ears to hear something so unresolvable and hard but we often hear about ‘ego-clashes’ which can be resolved may be in minutes provided we are ready to accommodate and assimilate the point of difference or disagreement. Previously we use to boast about the solidarity and strength of Indian families but today we hear more about divorces and marital breakdowns and separations and it is now estimated that out of every 25 marriages officially registered in Kerala, 2.5 are facing some issues either taking them to the verge of divorce or separation. This create an impression that somewhere we are increasingly becoming controversial and are more leaning towards issues per se and not trying to see the brighter side of things. We have now become fans of cliché TV serials which depict nothing good or fair but petty strife and bickering in families, sometimes between mother in law and daughter in law or between siblings. Same thing happens in professional arena too as we complicate things cutting across egoistic platforms and try to show our superiority often estranging our counterparts and putting them in a difficult situation. Many professional spaces are marred with resolvable yet silly issues taking monstrous and devastating proportions and spoiling good and healthy relationships among fellow workers. A recent study conducted by Indian institute of management studies among various work spaces and professional platforms across the country came out with a shocking finding that almost 45% of our workspace atmospheres are not healthy in terms of professional goodwill and they are increasingly becoming unfit to work. This may have a direct bearing on the overall performance of the economy as well as on the maintenance of a robust work – life balance promoting psychological and physiological well – being among personnel. Taking the larger family, the relationships amongst siblings, amongst kinsmen, amongst extended family members, everywhere we can find unnecessary controversies creeping in creating trouble and triggering animosity within close relatives who would have otherwise lived in harmony. Kerala society at large is witnessing many similar controversies today, majority of which would have been avoided if some degree of mutual accommodation is practiced in reality. Say for example the largest and oldest Christian denomination in Kerala, the Syro Malabar church is facing a controversy related to liturgy which could have been easily resolved provided the leadership shows some spirit of accommodation of diversities and toleration of differences. The biggest paradox is that the whole issue surround around a single topic as in where the celebrant is supposed to face whether the people or the holy altar during the Eucharistic celebration. Such issues can only be resolved through dialogue and constant interaction taking into confidence all shades of opinion and through building trust and mutual respect. Starting from family and moving into various institutional entities everywhere we can find varying opinions and differing approaches but the real skill lies in how we move forward taking into confidence all stakeholders and how we keep aside ‘ego’ and work together so as to build a better place to live and cherish.