Fr. Raphael Neelamkavil

Most people seek to realize great dreams for themselves and their dear ones. Such efforts define their aims of life. The commonly accepted means for this is good education, job, money, loving relationships, life facilities, fame etc. Humans attempt in this manner to solve all their problems in “legitimate” ways.

But the most legitimate way of them all is the most forgotten kernel of them all. This kernel is: Realize our growth only partially, and then simply ignore our own accomplishments and not be worried about solving of our problems. If we solve mostly only our own problems, the result is this: The more we try the more will be the number of problems and the ensuing distresses.

And if we begin to substitute or augment our own and our dear ones’ selves with an ever-broader number of selves including ourselves and our dear ones? We will begin to keep our attitudes open to all whom we come into immediate or distant contact with, to their accomplishments, and to solving their problems, while we ourselves begin automatically to strive qualitatively better forward in our personal accomplishments and solving our big problems.

On the way to taking stresses, our “distress” (<Latin distringere, “stretch apart”) turns into “eustress” (<Greek eu, “good, well;” Latin strictus, “drawn tight”). If, by purpose and effort, our minds grow broader in attitudinal orientation to many more others, we tend not to seek the satisfactions of our own growth.But our satisfaction increases through the experience of the effectivity of our efforts in the lives of others and of ourselves. Even when we undertake to counsel a person in distress or misfortune, our lack of experience in scientific counselling does not trouble us. We need only to have a long history of loving human beings with great empathy and equality, without desiring anything in return and, if possible, expecting even that the same persons can someday disappoint us.

Here begins a new phase in our lives. The more we involve in others’ lives the more we turn out getting solutions to human problems and being effective at any time we intervene! This makes us ever wiser and ever more loving. This is the easiest route to love! We obtain the enthusiasm to face anything and anyone who threatens human beings. We become courageous enough to strive for the spread of justice and love in the world. Stresses disappear. Here begins real human fulfillment.

The joy we derive from this experience is the only possible genuine foundation for our spiritual life and especially prayer. Unless the mind and soul are deeply immersed in the joys and expectations of being selflessly useful to others, none experiences the depths and breadths of spiritual immersion in the Divine, and we cannot even imagine what is human fulfillment. But note: Unless through the Divine, no one can be attitudinally open the self for long towards many!

Simultaneously universal and pluriversal orientation to others makes us universal humans. This is the kernel and the easiest way to religiosity and to sannyasa (Samskrtamsam,“together;” nyāsa, “placing, laying”). If this way offers great joy and transforms us into a universal soul, what else do we need for happiness? Can anyone suggest a better way for human fulfillment? All humans must follow this path for genuine happiness without stress and distress, and with eustress. If not as young, all shall realize this truth at least in old age!