The objective of Teams of Our Lady is to help couples discover the riches of the sacrament of marriage and to live out a married spirituality. The married life leads to family which consists of husband, wife and children. Naturally children form the essential part of the family. Without children the family is not complete. In the west, especially in U.S.A many are not interested to expand the family and in some cases, the so called family consists of husband and wife only. This is a selfish attitude.
Family is the social group of society consisting of the man, woman and their offspring. Evidently children form an essential ingredient of the family. The children brighten the world. One can imagine a sky without stars, a villa without flowers, a necklace without pearls, but a house, a town or a world without children is something unimaginable. Children are the gift of God. They brighten the world like flowers in the flower bed. A home without children is like a nest without birds. Wordsworth had said that, ‘the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world’. A house without children is the sad kingdom of selfishness.
There are many parents who have a dozen or even two dozen children. By God’s grace in most such cases the children get well placed in their life. It is not just because the grand parents have left behind large acres of yielding landed properties. The parents who have begotten these children sacrificed their personal selfish interests, and toiled with for bringing up their offspring treating them us the gift of Go. They stuck to the Law of Lord Almighty and Law of Nature procreation. There are lakhs of people who are denied of the blessings with children. They kneel before our Lord and or to bless them, often such prayers are heard and children an born in plenty
We have heard that great men of the world were children of parents having a large number of children; Charles Dickens was one of eight children, Longfellow one of eight children, Sir Walter Scot one of twelve, Alfred Tennyson one of twelve, Beethoven one of eleven and Saint Catherine of Siena one from twenty five.
Having said so much about the need to have children let us peep into the family man’s personal life and how he looks at it. The father whose task is working and earning his livelihood is also trying to rear and up bring the children. He has necessarily to toil and moil to make both ends meet, and at times may have to undergo self-denial of many comforts in the larger interest of the family. The father has to place the children in honorable professions to earn their livelihood. When they are well placed it becomes their duties to take care of their ailing parents in the evening of their life. If the parents by only a limited number of children, say two or three, parents reach the evening of their life, suffering all sorts of ailments the chances of getting comfortable attention from the children is little in as much as they themselves may be struggling to bring up the individual families. If the parents have a family with a large number of children this contingency will not arise as the burden, if at all it is a burden, is shared among the children.
Family Dispute
When the children have come up of age and earning and have started their own, “republic life” it is incumbent upon the parents to listen with coolness and sympathy to their individual problems and difficulties. They look upon the parents with fond hope that they would solve the issues. In the family circle, especially among one’s own children there may be disagreements or even disputes. The parents should step in and solve the problem with an element to tact and wisdom. The mouth speaketh the heart. If the heart is lacking in composure the words will be harsh and unsympathetic. Persuasion is another essential factor: Neutrality should be there in dealing with the children. As our Lord has said “Render therefore unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s. But to God that is God’s.
Love and romance should be there till the end unless we couple resolves otherwise. The marriage should not be a opgap arrangement. Till the last breath the husband and wife should remain as such. Just because they have become old they should not forget to exchange love and affection. And a warm kiss on the cheek will get a long way to strengthen one’s heart and body. It grows in richness and poignancy. For a successful married life, seven rules have to be observed.
1. Never involve a friend or relative in case there arises an unfortunate misunderstanding between the husband & wife. They may sometimes become serpents who will poison your family life to their advantage. Instead seek the counselling of a competent person preferably a Priest.
2. The husband and wife should maintain the same love, warmth and affection, that they have sworn to each other at the time of engagement till their death. At times it so happens, that the true colour of the husband or wife comes out after the honeymoon or immediately thereafter and causes disappointments.
3. In such situations the husband and wife should not forget that his/her life partner is a frail human being and liable to commit mistakes.
4. Be thrifty and be aware of the impending rainy days. Only the essential requirements in the household and furniture should be there.
5. Always be a faithful helper to the companion in life Trials, grief and sorrow are to be always with jointly faced and overcome.
6. Don’t be jealous of your neighbour’s joy and happiness. Keep one’s conscience clear and avoid coquetry.
7. Pray fervently especially family prayer and couple prayer before retirement to bed.

Adv PD Joseph Perayil, Palarivattom