- Vincent Kundukulam
I don’t know when the humans exactly began thinking about the other. It might be from the time they started building up the self through the process of individuation – the process by which an individual builds his/her identity in difference to others. And the human sciences have not so far succeeded in pin-pointing the exact instant this process gets initiated in every person. However, we see that a child is able to distinguish himself/herself from others as s/he commences to have the feeling of ‘mine’ and ‘thine’. An ample example to grasp it would be the following: even a one-year-old-child shall become restless if you act like taking away his/her dolls or playing gadgets.
The awareness of ‘mine’ and ‘thine’ are inseparably connected. The selfhood does not exist without the otherhood. Like any understanding of the other presupposes a pre-understanding of the other, without a certain know-how about the other I can’t articulate any perception regarding myself. Being social animals, human existence is defined in reference to the other. There must have at least two poles for a dialogue: an initiating point and another responding point. Human life seems to be a perennial exercise of ‘reciprocal positioning’: finding one’s place in relation to other and vice versa. At times, I feel that even God’s existence would not have any pertinence if humans were not existing in the world. In the similar vein, I would say that humans won’t have any pertinence unless there is ‘Another Beyond’, who attracts and challenges them.
The process of individuation generates diverse types of attitudes in humans. Some sense the other as an obstacle in their way of becoming, whereas some others as comforting agents. A third group confusingly live the feelings of threat and ease vis-à-vis the other. All these vary according to the space and time the encounter takes place. It depends also on the moods and characters of the persons concerned. Whatever be the moods, impressions, images and codes that are sequentially registered in a person about the other, they are very significant in defining human character, personality and above all the self. The symbols, signs, myths, etc. that a person assimilate in the process of socialization from the cultural environs get knotted with the world of collected memories the individual already possesses, and they shape the archetypal forms, which finally controls not only the conscious and subconscious realms but also the unconscious realms of mind.
If the other is decisive in the act of identity-building, is it not prudent to consider the other as a blessing than a threat? Yes, but it is not easy to regard the other with a positive attitude. Because, we humans have an innate urge to defend ourselves. The self-protective drive will be strong in those who are prey to the inferiority and insecurity complexes. Such persons would be frightened or become aggressive at the encounter of others, and consequently, their encounter might collapse into a distressing experience.
However, man can rectify these negative forms of reactions through constant education and accompaniment. Why can’t humans be formed to sense the other as a wonder? It is not impossible, because the feelings saved in the subconsciousness of our forefathers at the encounter of the other in primeval times were not altogether negative. Not merely awfulness but also a sense of marvel had arisen in their psyche while they confronted the mysterious universe and its turmoil. Religions were born in the soil of awfulness and astonishment. While those who developed dreadfulness made the Other a terror, those who nurtured the feelings of wonder cultivated the sentiments of thankfulness towards the Other and others.
Christianity is a religion that teaches us to see the other not as a threat but as a neighbour. The mystery of incarnation itself unveils God’s initiative to see humans as His own. Jesus set humans free from the bondage of fear, and that may be the reason why he did repeat the slogan ‘fear not’ whenever he met people after the resurrection. During the earthly ministry, His way was that of finding the positive in those who were branded as dangerous by the society. By making the wicked realize about the goodness in them, He empowered them to embrace the path of righteousness.
The greatest question we must ask ourselves today is, do we dare to transform our ‘existential fear for the other’ into ‘a feeling of assurance in the other’. It presumes that the thinkers, literary men, spiritual leaders, educationists and psychologists help people not to fear but to admire the other. We can be hopeful in this mission, because, the Great Other whom Jesus revealed to us is not an awful God but a loving Father, in whom the whole humanity can, irrespective of their differences lay trust.
- kundu1962@gmail.com
