Reena Joseph

It is important to have role models in life to serve as beacons of inspiration, and nearer home, as mentoring tools as we grow up to become mature individuals. Role models can come from an array of fields and widely differing backgrounds. They all have one thing in common: the ability to inspire and exemplify a specific virtue or skill. We’ve all had our share of such role models; some of them have fallen through the cracks and crashed headlong from their pedestals, while others still inhabit those pristine heights. In general, people who are constantly striving for greater heights will admit to having a host of role models they look up to and derive inspiration from. To begin with, parents serve as the initial role models for their children, followed by teachers and other worthy elders in their immediate environs. Children soak up speech patterns and mannerisms of these role models and imitate them consciously. Needless to say, providing good mentorship is crucial at this stage. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Teach a child how he should live, and he will remember it all his life.” This is in essence one of the vital aspects on the path of a child’s personality development and self improvement.

We do not, however, live in a perfect world, and are not surrounded by perfect people. In the past fifty years there has been a rise of scandals involving high profile individuals in the spheres of entertainment, religion, industry and politics. Role models in the form of celebrities, athletes, religious leaders or political figures are likely to take the wrong turns, lose focus or get messed up. What happens when a child’s hero breaks the law, hurts others, or otherwise disappoints? As adults we are capable of accepting these pitfalls as unpleasant realities and moving on with life. But how does a role model’s ‘fall from grace’ affect a child or an adolescent? Are they wired to absorb the shock of their heroes’ mishaps or lack of integrity?

In 2013, the much acclaimed seven times champion of the ‘Tour de France’ Lance Armstrong’s admission that he used performance-enhancing drugs will go down in sport history as the most brazen drug cheat the sport has ever seen. The disgraced American cyclist’s comments record 14 years of deception and repeated denials that he used banned substances to win scores of international races. In this case, many youngsters were impacted negatively and reacted with bitterness and skepticism. They tend to lose faith in the high ideals their heroes advocated, and turn inward disillusioned and without hope. At such times, it is imperative for parents and teachers to lend perspective about the fallibility of human nature and alert them to the dangers of blind ‘hero worship.’ Youngsters need to be reminded that their role models are real people and people in the ‘real’ world are often flawed. However, we have to call out the wrongdoings of these ‘heroes’as inexcusable and not worthy of emulation.

When role models fall off their pedestals, helping children and young adults see it for what it is becomes the responsibility of mentoring adults. To begin with, there is no need to make excuses for the transgression and sugar-coat the offence. Lay out the facts of the case and explain why the ‘action’ is wrong. However, discourage the tendency to broad brush all individuals in that specific profession or line of work as tainted or hypocritical. There will always be a ‘black sheep’ or two in every herd. Secondly, it is important for senior mentors to be proactive and offer guidance in the choice of new role models. Above all, help youngsters to maintain perspective in times of disappointment and anxiety as their ‘heroes’ come tumbling down in scandals big and small. The concluding lines of the Desiderata come to mind: “ With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.”